The Family Caregiver Alliance offers good information to families across America when dealing with elder care. Visit their site often at Family Caregiver Alliance.
CaringÂ for aging parentsÂ or ill relativesÂ brings out the goodÂ and the badÂ in sibling and familyÂ relationships.Â CaregivingÂ can beÂ a time for siblings to come together and provide supportÂ for each otherÂ or it can be a time forÂ stressful transition, causingÂ strained connections and painful conflict.
AÂ source ofÂ friction between adult children carriesÂ the existingÂ legacy of family dynamics.Â Demands of caregiving bringÂ up old patterns, unresolved issues, andÂ tensions. Old family wounds are reopened and rivalries reemerge.Â Siblings canÂ find themselves replaying their historical roles in the family, recreating old dynamics of competition and resentment as they vie for momâ€™s and/or dad’s attention and affection.
Other things arise such asÂ denial over a parentâ€™s condition. Siblings who areÂ unable to accept the reality of a parentâ€™s illness and refuse involvement may be protecting themselves from facing a parentâ€™s eventual death and their own loss. This causes theÂ active family caregivers toÂ react with resentment, bitterness, and anger.
What is seen in families is that discord surfaces from the unequal division of caregiving duties. Usually, it is one adult child or sibling that carriesÂ the primary role of caregiving for mom or dad. This may be because he or she lives closest to a parent, is perceived as having less work or fewer family obligations, or is considered the â€œfavoriteâ€ child. WhenÂ this situation occurs, it can lead the overburdened primary caregiver feel frustrated and resentful and other siblings to feel uninformed and left out.
For help when caring for an aging relative at home go to Expert Home Care and call 800-848-2336.