Late afternoon used to be an ordinary time of day. Now, as the sun goes down, your mother becomes restless, anxious, or angry. She may pace, insist on “going home” even though she’s in her own house, or not recognize you. This pattern is known as sundowning, and it’s one of the most exhausting parts of caring for a parent with dementia. Understanding it, and planning for it, is a big part of successful dementia home care.
What sundowning is
Sundowning refers to increased confusion, agitation, or anxiety that tends to begin in the late afternoon and continue into the evening or night. It’s common in people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, especially in the middle and later stages. The exact cause isn’t fully understood, but experts believe changes in the brain’s internal clock play a part.
Sundowning isn’t a sign that your parent is being difficult on purpose. Their brain is struggling to process the world, and fatigue makes that harder as the day wears on.
Common triggers
While you can’t always prevent sundowning, certain factors seem to make it worse. Watch for patterns related to:
- Fatigue from a busy day or poor sleep the night before
- Low light and growing shadows as the sun sets
- Hunger, thirst, or the need to use the bathroom
- Pain or discomfort your parent can’t describe
- Too much noise or activity, such as a crowded dinner table
- Changes in routine, new caregivers, or unfamiliar places
Keeping a simple log for a week or two can help you spot what sets off episodes. Note the time, what was happening, and what helped.
Shape the day to calm the evening
A steady daily routine helps more than almost anything else. Try to schedule appointments, baths, and outings in the morning, when your parent is usually at their best. Encourage time outdoors or near a sunny window during the day, since natural light may help regulate sleep cycles. Physical activity, such as a short walk, can also reduce restlessness later.
Limit caffeine and sugar, especially after lunch. Keep naps short and early so your parent is tired enough to sleep at night. A light, early dinner may be easier to manage than a large evening meal.
Prepare the house for evening
Before dusk, turn on lights throughout the house to reduce shadows. Close curtains so reflections in dark windows don’t cause confusion. Lower the volume on the television, or turn it off if the news or loud programs seem upsetting. Soft music your parent enjoyed in earlier years can be soothing.
Make sure your parent’s needs are met before the evening begins: a snack, something to drink, a bathroom trip, and comfortable clothes.
What to do during an episode
When agitation starts, your response makes a big difference. Stay calm and speak in a soft, reassuring voice. Avoid arguing or correcting. If your mother says she needs to go home, respond to the feeling behind the words. “You miss home. Tell me about your house” often works better than “You are home.”
Gentle redirection helps too. Offer a simple task, like folding towels or looking through a photo album together. Move to a quieter room. Give your parent space if they need it, as long as they’re safe. If episodes include aggression, new hallucinations, or a sudden worsening, talk with their doctor, since an infection, medication side effect, or untreated pain can sometimes play a part.
Protect your own rest
Sundowning often stretches into the night, which means family caregivers lose sleep too. Over weeks and months, that exhaustion builds. You can’t be patient and gentle when you’re running on empty. Accepting help is a practical decision that protects both you and your parent. If you live with your parent, try to trade nights with a sibling or partner so no one person is up every night. Even one full night of sleep a week can change how you handle the evenings that follow.
How in-home caregivers can help
A trained caregiver who understands dementia can take on the late afternoon and evening hours, when support is needed most. They can keep the routine consistent, prepare meals, assist with bathing and getting ready for bed, and use calming techniques during difficult moments. Some families schedule a caregiver from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., while others arrange overnight help so the family can sleep.
Consistency matters. When the same caregiver comes regularly, your parent has a better chance of recognizing them and feeling secure. Good dementia home care focuses on the person, not only the symptoms, so caregivers learn your parent’s history, favorite topics, and what comforts them.
You don’t have to handle evenings alone
Sundowning can make every evening feel like a battle, but there are ways to make it more manageable. Small changes to routine and environment, patience during episodes, and the right support can bring calmer nights. If evenings have become too much, reaching out for dementia home care may give your whole family some rest.
If you or an aging loved-one is considering dementia home care in Flemington, NJ please contact the caring staff at Expert Home Care today at. (732) 937-5320
We have been providing Home Health Care to New Jersey families since 1985, and have grown to become one of the largest licensed providers of Live-In Home Care in the upper New Jersey area. Our many years of New Jersey home care experience has produced a company that over 8,000 clients have come to rely on confidently, for help.
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