Tag Archives: Elderly Socialization

How to Talk to Your Elderly Loved One

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NJ Senior Living & Lifestyle

In general, there is a difference between seniors in their 80s and older, and those who are now in their 70s.  For example:

Seniors in Their 80s

Seniors in their 80s, who lived through the Depression, have often spent frugally and saved as much as possible. They focus on wanting to leave a legacy to their children, are less willing to spend money on themselves, and less inclined to talk about future plans.

Seniors in Their 70s

Seniors now in their 70s are more questioning, more discerning and less amenable to institutional, assisted living alternatives. This new wave of “young” seniors is beginning to ponder difficult questions that do not have easy answers, such as, “Where do I want to live if I’m no longer able to stay at home? Who do I want to take care of me in the event I become ill? What are my wishes regarding end of life care?”

Align the Conversation to Your Senior’s Values

Knowing the seniors’ priorities can help their loved ones know what to say to convince them to get the help they need. For someone in his 80s, who doesn’t want to spend money on services for himself, having his children (and grandchildren) tell him they prefer that he spend it on his own needs and not gift it to the kids, might really free the parent up to take care of his own needs.

For someone in his 70s, having the children (and grandchildren) talk with him about his different options and help him identify the ones that best fit his needs and financial situation, might be helpful. This can be complicated due to the fact that seniors are often reluctant to discuss their finances with their children. Nevertheless, having an outline of your senior’s assets so you can know which options are available, is important.

When children have conversations with their parents about the future, they must first reassure the senior that they will be in control and have the final say and that the children just want to help them think about future possibilities and understand their preferences.

Posted by: Frank Esposito, Vice President of Expert Home Care.  New Jersey’s Expert Home Care provides professional and reliable home health care and companion care for NJ elderly, helping them with their daily living activities since 1984. Please call us toll free at 800-848-2336 when you have home care related questions or need assistance for a loved one. Get a Free Home Care Assessment (a $375 value!) when you mention this post.

NJ Senior Living & Your Seniors Social Life

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New Jersey Senior Living & Lifestyle

Loneliness is one of the most common problems affecting seniors who live alone and away from family.  How can seniors connect with others?  Here are some places and situations that can work well:

  • Local senior centers usually offer lectures, classes, and meals.
  • Libraries offer book discussion groups for seniors, as well as lectures and concerts.
  • A community bulletin may list adult education classes.
  • Colleges and universities may have senior classes, lectures and concerts. Some have special classes or activities for seniors, while others encourage seniors to take regular classes at a discounted rate.
  • The YMCA or JCC may offer movement classes for seniors.
  • Health clubs may offer exercise, tai chi, dancercise or yoga classes for seniors.
  • If your elderly loved one likes to volunteer, you should look into civic, political, medical, educational or arts organizations.
  • Look for local hobby clubs such as guitar players, singers, memoirists, walkers, hikers, environmentalists, amateur theatre actors, etc.
  • Support groups.
  • Religious organizations tend to offer adult education, social action groups, and are always seeking volunteers.
  • Alumni groups.
  • Widowed or divorced seniors looking for companionship should consider online dating.
  • Create your own hobby group on a topic of interest. Seniors can go to Meetup.com and create a group on any topic, such as Lovers of Musical Theatre or Foreign Films. You will have to pay a monthly fee of $25 (the fees go down if you contract for more than one month at a time) to advertise there, but you can then ask the group members to share the cost with you. You can also create your own group and advertise at no cost on Craigslist.com. Or you can consider starting a group at your local church or through your local adult education organization.

There are plenty of opportunities for seniors to connect with their contemporaries.  Staying home and being miserable should not be an option.

Posted by: Frank Esposito, Vice President of Expert Home Care.  New Jersey’s Expert Home Care provides professional and reliable home health care and companion care for NJ seniors, helping them with their daily living activities since 1984. Please call us toll free at 800-848-2336 when you have elder care related questions or need assistance for a loved one.