When is it time for a senior to give up the keys to the car?  Very often, driving remains an act of independence that many seniors are reluctant to part with.  At times, and as difficult as it may be, it is incumbent for adult children to step in.

The signs that your elderly loved one needs to give up driving:

1. Sudden lane changes, braking, or acceleration for no particular reason — a sign that their reflexes are slowing
2. Lots of near-collisions or small, minor accidents, such as scraping their car against another car or a garage.
3. Failing to use the turn signal
4. Driving on the wrong side of the road or in the shoulder
5. An inability to read road signs or written directions
6. Missing turns or backing up to make the correct turn
7. Inability to judge a specific distance
8. Misidentifying the gas pedal for the brake and vice versa
9. Lots of fidgeting while driving
10. Lack of patience while driving and arguing with other drivers
11. Making wrong turns and not being able to remember how to get to often-traveled places
12. Confusion at traffic lights (e.g. mistaking red for green and vice versa)
13. Repeatedly being pulled over by police officers

If you notice any of these problems on a regular basis, it is time to step in.  It is not something that should be put off.

New Jersey’s Expert Home Care provides professional and reliable care and assistance for NJ seniors, helping them manage their daily living activities since 1984. We’ve helped many families overcome the problem of unsafe senior driving. Please call us when you need help at 800-848-2336.

Posted by: Frank Esposito, Vice President of Expert Home Care

What does it mean to be a family advocate or caregiver? An advocate speaks up to protect the rights of another. He voices his concerns while intently focusing on protecting the health and safety of he and his family. He holds that vision dear to him. Especially in the oftentimes elusive world of medicine, it is absolutely imperative to become as educated as possible about the system you are in. Only then is the best care possible.

Today, doctors and nurses don’t have time to explain everything a family wants and needs to know about what is happening to their family member (the patient). Because of advanced technology changes in healthcare and the pressures of “Managed Care,” doctors don’t have the time to explain, in terms the family will understand, all that is happening to their family member as a patient in the hospital. Doctors are just too pressed for time.

Continuing our post from August 22.. Sibling Conflict in Elder Care

Resolving these conflicts can be challenging. But ignoring the difficulties in a caregiving situation can create greater challenges. Ultimately, strained family relationships can impede a family’s capacity to provide the greatest quality of care to a parent. How can families come together in caregiving?

Here are some suggestions:

• Express your feelings honestly and directly. Let your siblings know their help is both wanted and needed.
  Keep family members informed regarding a parent’s condition.
• Be realistic in your expectations. Allow siblings to help in ways they are able and divide tasks according to individual abilities, current life pressures and personal freedoms. Assistance with errands, finances, legal work or other indirect care may be the best option for some family members.
• Express appreciation to your family for help they are able to provide.
• Accept siblings for who they are and expect differences of opinion.
• Try to respect other’s perceptions and find opportunities to compromise.
• If communication is particularly contentious, arrange a family meeting that includes an outside facilitator, such as your FCA Family Consultant, social worker, counselor, religious leader or friend. A trusted outside party can ensure that everyone’s voice is heard.
• If siblings are unable to help with care, seek other assistance to provide a respite for yourself.
• Call your local Caregiver Resource Center, Area Agency on Aging, Senior Center or other community resource to locate help.
• Try to forgive family members who continue to refuse to get involved in a loved one’s care. The only thing we have control over in a situation is our reaction. Attempt to work through your negative emotions to take care of yourself and move forward.

http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=868

Caring for aging parents or ill relatives brings out the good and the bad in sibling and family relationships. Caregiving can be a time for siblings to come together and provide support for each other or it can be a time for stressful transition, causing strained connections and painful conflict.

A source of friction between adult children carries the existing legacy of family dynamics. Demands of caregiving bring up old patterns, unresolved issues, and tensions. Old family wounds are reopened and rivalries reemerge. Siblings can find themselves replaying their historical roles in the family, recreating old dynamics of competition and resentment as they vie for mom’s and/or dad’s attention and affection.

Other things arise such as denial over a parent’s condition. Siblings who are unable to accept the reality of a parent’s illness and refuse involvement may be protecting themselves from facing a parent’s eventual death and their own loss. This causes the active family caregivers to react with resentment, bitterness, and anger.

What is seen in families is that discord surfaces from the unequal division of caregiving duties. Usually, it is one adult child or sibling that carries the primary role of caregiving for mom or dad. This may be because he or she lives closest to a parent, is perceived as having less work or fewer family obligations, or is considered the “favorite” child. When this situation occurs, it can lead the overburdened primary caregiver feel frustrated and resentful and other siblings to feel uninformed and left out.

Go to http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=868

For help when caring for an aging relative at home go to Expert Home Care and call 800-848-2336.

Expert Home Care in New Jersey wants adult children to pay close attention to the early signs of Alzheimer’s and take proper action if you see a parent displaying one or serveral. Consult with a neurologist who specializes in dementia. A neurologist or an medical doctor who specializes in geriatrics will do the proper testings and evaluations to uncover Alzheimer’s or dementia early on. They will prescribe the right medications that help delay the progression of the disease. Hopefully the medications will help your aging parents and potentially keep them in that early stage for a longer period of time.

Memory loss that disrupts everyday life is not a normal part of aging – It may be a sign of Alzheimer’s disease, a fatal brain disease that gets worse over time and causes changes in thinking, reasoning and behavior. Although the disease is more common in people 65 and older, it can also strike those in their 30s, 40s and 50s.  Alz.org.

Visit us in a day or two when we give more information of the signs of the disease.

Expert Home & Live-in Care for seniors and elders in New Jersey.

Call us for help at 800-848-2336.

In our last post, Expert Home Care listed tips and observations on determining if your loved one needs caregiving, or live-in caregiving. If you resolved that the senior has immediate needs, then it’s time to talk about it with the senior. This will be a delicate process that requires probing but respectful questions, a healthy dose of empathy, and an understanding that there will be communication problems and pitfalls.

You will either find that your loved one in question accepts their limitations and makes necessary adjustments, or they will resist and struggle. If he/she resist, know that your conversation may be interpreted as a personal threat to their independence. 

The most effective discussions focus on what seniors can do, rather than what they can’t do. Encourage them to make good use of the abilities they still have. When caregiving is needed, here are some steps to consider taking:

• Make a list of the assistance that is needed
• Identify potential helpers and tasks
• Establish a network of professional care providers
• Monitor and ensure quality service from care providers
• Avoid family caregiver burnout by maintaining balance and obtaining relief

The more you know about you mom or dad’s needs and desires, as well as knowing what is available to them through their community services and those related costs, the more depth you will add to discussions about caregiving.

Remember to call Expert Home Care at 800-848-2336, we are Certified Senior Advisors who understand and know the right kind of planning, recommendations and referrals to help make aging a state to be savored instead of a fate to be feared.

Yesterday our post gave reasons “why” high blood pressure and hypertention is a potentially deadly disease, if left untreated. Today let’s share positive tips on caring for ourselves when living with high blood pressure.

Fortunately, there are certain lifestyle changes you can make to decrease your blood pressure, in addition to taking medication. For those whose doctor prescribes medication, compliancy is very important. Many people suddenly decide to stop taking their medicine because they don’t feel ill. As a result, their blood pressure increases and they put themselves at risk again for serious complications.

In addition to medication, experts recommend the following ways to lower blood pressure:

• Lose weight. For every 10 kg (22 pounds) of weight loss, blood pressure can drop as much as 20 points.
• Eat less salt. This can reduce blood pressure by as much as 8 points.
• Eat more fruits and vegetables and less fat. This has the potential to decrease it by 14 points.
• Start exercising. Even a brisk walk 30 minutes a day has the potential to drop blood pressure as much as 9 points.
• Reduce alcohol intake. This can result in an improvement of up to 4 points.
• Stop smoking. This will result in an all-around blood pressure improvement, as smoking causes the blood vessels to constrict putting added stress on the heart.
• Reduce stress. People who live with unrelenting stress tend to experience higher blood pressure readings.

 Certain stress reduction practices can be incorporated into one’s lifestyle. Taken together, these strategies can often impact dramatically on lowering your blood pressure. In addition, it’s important to have your blood pressure checked periodically to determine what, if any, changes need to be taken.

Call New Jersey’s Expert Home Care at 800-848-2336.

You are invited to listen to our host, Frank Esposito, interview Donald Vanarelli, Esq., certified elder law attorney and co-founder of the Elder Mediation Center of New Jersey. The topic of the radio interview is Elder Law Mediation (click to listen). Don Vanarelli explains the circumstances that make elder law mediation a viable option for resolving disputes between family members over care, finances, independence and other issues involving elderly parents.

What is elder mediation?

Mr. Vanarelli explains that mediation is primarily for family members to find resolution when helping aging parents become a topic of family dispute, “when family members are unable to hear one another and find resolution on hard elder care issues, mediation can help find agreement between family members,” says Don Vanarelli.

Some of those hard elder care issues are:

• Housing Issues
• Power of Attorney
• Guardianship
• Family caregiving – scheduling sibling’s time committments and responsibilities
• Finding in-home help for aging relative or parent
• Living arrangements
• Healthcare Issues & planning
• Estate Planning
• Finances
• Medical Treatments

It’s best to come to resolution before filing a lawsuit, going to court, and having the judge make decisions for the family. If you are in dispute over any of the issues listed above or maybe another hard elder care concern, you might consider going to a professional like an elder law attorney to get resolution before your family comes to an impasse. It’s always better to keep the lines of communication open, especially when seeking soltutions that are best for your mom and dad.

Donald Vanarelli, Esq., certified elder law attorney points out in the radio interview some of the benefits you, a family as a whole, receives from mediation:

• Siblings come together in the same room – this may be the first time in years if family siblings live in different states.
• You get to experience sibling’s body language and make eye contact
• You may also view your parent’s reactions, physical responses
• Walk away with problems resolved, next steps to take, and have specific, clear action items for each family member to do/take

Listen now and hear if family mediation is right for you: Elder Law Mediation.  Brought to you by Expert Home Care New Jersey, the leader in New Jersey elder & senior live-in home care.

Call us for senior live-in help today, 800-848-2336 or contact Expert Home Care New Jersey.