Category Archives: Assisted Living Alternative

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How to Talk to Your Elderly Loved One

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NJ Senior Living & Lifestyle

In general, there is a difference between seniors in their 80s and older, and those who are now in their 70s.  For example:

Seniors in Their 80s

Seniors in their 80s, who lived through the Depression, have often spent frugally and saved as much as possible. They focus on wanting to leave a legacy to their children, are less willing to spend money on themselves, and less inclined to talk about future plans.

Seniors in Their 70s

Seniors now in their 70s are more questioning, more discerning and less amenable to institutional, assisted living alternatives. This new wave of “young” seniors is beginning to ponder difficult questions that do not have easy answers, such as, “Where do I want to live if I’m no longer able to stay at home? Who do I want to take care of me in the event I become ill? What are my wishes regarding end of life care?”

Align the Conversation to Your Senior’s Values

Knowing the seniors’ priorities can help their loved ones know what to say to convince them to get the help they need. For someone in his 80s, who doesn’t want to spend money on services for himself, having his children (and grandchildren) tell him they prefer that he spend it on his own needs and not gift it to the kids, might really free the parent up to take care of his own needs.

For someone in his 70s, having the children (and grandchildren) talk with him about his different options and help him identify the ones that best fit his needs and financial situation, might be helpful. This can be complicated due to the fact that seniors are often reluctant to discuss their finances with their children. Nevertheless, having an outline of your senior’s assets so you can know which options are available, is important.

When children have conversations with their parents about the future, they must first reassure the senior that they will be in control and have the final say and that the children just want to help them think about future possibilities and understand their preferences.

Posted by: Frank Esposito, Vice President of Expert Home Care.  New Jersey’s Expert Home Care provides professional and reliable home health care and companion care for NJ elderly, helping them with their daily living activities since 1984. Please call us toll free at 800-848-2336 when you have home care related questions or need assistance for a loved one. Get a Free Home Care Assessment (a $375 value!) when you mention this post.

Planning For Your Elder Years

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New Jersey Elder Planning Tips

Recent surveys among NJ elderly, find that their biggest concerns are:

1. Remaining independent in the home without intervention from others;

2. Maintaining good health and receiving adequate health care;

3. Having enough money for everyday needs and not outliving assets and income.

Pre-planning can help address these issues.  No other life event can be as devastating to an elderly person’s lifestyle, finances and security as needing long term care. It can drastically alter or eliminates the three principal lifestyle concerns above.  The majority of the American public does not plan for this crisis of needing elder care. The lack of planning also has an adverse effect on the older person’s family, with sacrifices made in time, money, and family lifestyles.  Due to changing demographics and potential changes in government funding, the current generation needs to plan for long term care before the elder years are upon them.

Here are some facts.

  • The population of the “very old,” – older than age 85 – is the fastest growing group in America. This population is at highest risk for needing care. (Statistical abstract of the United States,
    2008, population)
  • Medical science is preventing early sudden deaths, which means living longer with impaired health and greater risk of needing long term care.
  • The Alzheimer’s Association estimates the risk of Alzheimer’s or dementia beyond age 85 to be about 46% of
    that population.
  • It is estimated that 6 out of 10 people will need long-term care sometime during their lifetime.
  • Children moving far away from parents or parents moving away during retirement makes long distance care giving difficult or impossible.
  • Government programs— already stretched thin for long term care services— will experience even greater stress on
    available funds in the future.

One of the important things for planning is how to maintain your lifestyle as you age. You may be healthy enough to stay in your own home with help provided for the following activities of daily living:

  • maintaining a home
  • providing meals
  • supervision
  • companionship
  • transportation
  • shopping services

This type of care at home is non-medical and must be provided free of charge by family, friends, or volunteers or the care must be paid for out-of-pocket by the family. Government programs, in most cases, will not pay for this kind of care. It is estimated that 80% of all long term care is non-medical, with 90% of that care provided in the home.

Plan now how you will pay for care when it is needed. In evaluating your future income you may find it necessary to add some resources such as long term care insurance to pay for assisted living or nursing home costs. Long term care insurance must be purchased while you are younger and healthy. Failing health, stroke or other aging issues will not allow you to qualify for this insurance.  A reverse mortgage will also help pay for home care if staying in your home is an option.

Consider where you may want to live in your elder years. Many assisted living facilities offer complete care alternatives with a nursing home wing if needed. Senior retirement communities also offer many amenities with some including home care options.  Now is the time to do estate planning. A professional estate planner will give you direction on how best to protect your assets for future needs and for Medicaid planning.  Now is the time to create your trusts, will, medical directives in a living will and any other documents you want noted for future use. Gather insurance policies and bank records where they can be found by family members in case you are not able to get them yourself.

The process of long term care planning involves the following four
principles:

1. Knowledge and preparation are the keys to success.
2. Having funds to pay for care expands the choices for care
settings and providers.
3. Using professional help relieves stress, reduces conflict, and
saves time and money.
4. Success is assured through a written plan accepted by all
parties involved.

(The above excerpt is quoted from “The 4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning,” National Care Planning Council)

The National Care Planning Council’ s website — www.longtermcarelink.net — provides over 700 pages of information for long term care planning and lists services of professional care providers in estate planning, long term care insurance, reverse mortgage, home care and many other important long term care services.

The National Care Planning Council’ s book, “The 4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning,” provides information on what Medicaid and Medicare will cover as well as an overview of professional long term care service providers and how their services can help you create and execute your long term care plan. A check list of what to do to create a plan and forms for creating necessary paperwork are also included in the book.

Posted by: Frank Esposito, Vice President of Expert Home Care.  New Jersey’s Expert Home Care provides professional and reliable home health care and companion care for NJ elderly, helping them with their daily living activities since 1984. Please call us toll free at 800-848-2336 when you have home care related questions or need assistance for a loved one. Get a Free Home Care Assessment (a $375 value!) when you mention this post.

Ten Tips for Family Caregivers

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  1. Choose to take charge of your life, and don’t let your loved one’s illness or disability always take center stage.
  2. Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honor and value yourself. You’re doing a very hard job and you deserve some quality time, just for you.
  3. Watch out for signs of depression, and don’t delay in getting professional help when you need it.
  4. When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.
  5. Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition. Information is empowering.
  6. There’s a difference between caring and doing. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one’s independence.
  7. Trust your instincts. Most of the time they’ll lead you in the right direction.
  8. Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.
  9. Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen.
  10. Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in knowing you are not alone.

New Jersey’s Expert Home Care for Elders and Seniors provides care for your aging loved ones since 1984. Please call us when your loved one needs help – 800-848-2336.

Edlerly Face Fatality Risks When Driving

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New Jersey’s Expert Home Care for Elders and Seniors provides care for your aging loved ones since 1984. Please call us when your loved one needs help – 800-848-2336.

For many seniors, driving is inseparable from independence…
When it comes to auto fatalities, who do you think is more likely to die behind the wheel: your 16-year-old nephew or your 82-year-old grandmother? Your grandmother drives slowly and wears her seatbelt.  Your nephew speeds and talks on the cell phone. So the answer is your nephew, right?  No — the correct answer is your grandmother.

A recent study by Carnegie Mellon University indicates that elderly female drivers have a higher fatality rate per mile than 16-year-old boys. Statistics released by Traffic STATS, a new risk analysis of road fatalities produced by the university, shows that an 82-year-old female driver is 60 percent more likely to die on the road than a 16-year-old male driver because they are more frail.

“It’s not an issue of risk-taking behavior, but of fragility,” according to Anne McCartt, a research official at the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.  Older people are more likely to die when they are injured in an accident, she adds, and points out that elderly women have the highest road death risks even when they are not driving — five times higher than the national average.

These figures make sense but the news gets worse. Statistics released this past year by the National Institute on Aging conclude that the fatality rate for seniors is going to skyrocket as the baby boomer generation ages and continues to drive. 

As previously indicated, elderly women in particular will be at risk. The numbers increase because the ratio of women to men will grow from 1-1 for young people to 100 women for every 35 men by age 85.

The goal of the research was to try to determine factors related to senior-driver crashes such as body region injured, severity of the crash and circumstances surrounding the fatal crash.  Results indicated:

Drivers 65 and over killed in car accidents were significantly more likely to die of a chest injury.     
Older drivers were more likely to die after the crash date.

Frailty or pre-existing conditions played a significant role in the deaths of older drivers.
If these predictions are correct, we can anticipate more elderly drivers and passengers and a greater number of fatalities among our senior population in the next decade.           

It’s a frightening prospect but before you take away grandma’s keys, consider the consequences. There’s a lot more to lose than just driving. There’s the loss of independence.

Brain Fitness…Exercising Your Mind

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New Jersey’s Expert Home Care for Elders and Seniors provides care for your aging loved ones since 1984. Please call us when your loved one needs help – 800-848-2336.

It’s long been assumed that memory loss, slower thinking and eventual dementia are the natural results of aging.

Dr. Michael Merzenich, a neuroscientist from the University of California at San Francisco, disagrees. The human brain, he says, doesn’t need to decline with age. It, like the body, responds to exercise and stimuli.

Merzenich founded Posit Science, which is developing brain fitness programs designed to improve the thinking abilities of seniors. These self-paced computer programs are like video games, only these are designed to stimulate certain brain functions such as listening and memory. One hour a day, five days a week may increase cognitive functioning by as much as 10 years.

While the Posit Science Brain Fitness Program offers exciting possibilities for enabling an aging population’s minds to keep pace with ever increasing longevity, we’re not dependent upon a computer program to stretch and strengthen our brains.

Engaging in a range of activities that spur new learning as well as participating in physical activities that require an ongoing mastery of motor control will strengthen the brain.

Examples of such activities include:

learning to play a musical instrument or a new language
juggling
dancing
solving jigsaw puzzles
playing ping pong

In the not-so-distant future, senior centers, nursing homes and assisted living facilities may include “brain gymnasiums” along with recreation and exercise areas.